KaiShares AVAILABLE ONCE AGAIN! BE A 1%ER!

Be in the 1 percent!  Don't be a 99%er!

So, the New Orleans WSOP-C is right around the corner, and yours truly is looking gleefully towards it.  Hungry for final tables, more cash, more rings, more blood, more victories.

Hungry.

However you add it up, roughly thirteen days of poker in the Crescent City.

And I've decided to open up my services to the general public.  Just a little bit.  Quite simply put, it's the best deal in poker. 

Let's call it "OPERATION: OCCUPY KAI'S PANTS."

Can you imagine the smell of these "99%ers?" Ughhh!

One percent at a time.

This is a limited time offer.  (drumroll)

$35 buys you 1 percent of Kai's action in the WSOP-C New Orleans May 10-21, 2012..  This will be for 1% of ALL my action in (4) $355 events and one $1600 main event. 

For those of you who are skilled in the art of mathematics, you will notice that this earns me a whopping $5 profit for each shareholder.  Since the buy in for all these (five) events adds up to $3,020 and I'm charging $35 for each 1% share. 

Essentially, in these five events, I'm looking to play with $1,795 of my own money and $1,225 of KaiShare holders money (35 shares at $35 each).

"I am a 1%er!!!"  Yes, friends, that can be your chant to the unbathed, quasi-militant, malcontent, dusgruntled Jacobin mutant-comrades and their zombie like quest for "free love."



This angry mob is protesting that
"KaiShares is too good of a deal!!!"



Say it loud and say it proud to the 99%ers as you adjust your monocle pompously!  "I am a winner.  And you are a loser. For I backed Kai in a 1% stake of his 2012 New Orleans WSOP series.  Behold, sir, for you live in a commune of dead ideals and live in a trailer with your eleven kids in need of orthrodontic care and a wife who looks like Tom Petty.  Go back to your 99% of dissent, sorrow, and ingratitude."

I'll now proceed with the rest of this KaiShares presentation in a question and answer forum.

Q n A forum.

I don't know about all this.  I kind of feel like gambling is a sin.

You're right, astute reader!  Gambling is a probably a sin.  Next question.

Can I buy more than one KaiShare? 

Sure you can, eager reader.  But be aware that Kai does not wish to sell more than thirty-five KaiShares for these five events in New Orleans.  I wish to play with 60% of my own money.

Hey, I looked at the WSOP-C schedule in New Orleans, and there's like twelve ring events.  How come you're only letting people buy in for four $355 events and one $1600 main event?

Good question, reader.  It's because I'm giving myself room to make a few "day twos," which overlap into the next event.  Also, I'm planning on a good run in the main, which overlaps the last two events.  To answer your next question, I'll be posting here on this blog ahead of time (probably a day ahead of time) precisely which events I'll be playing with your investment.  It's possible I may play more events with money outside of KaiShares shareholders investments but this would be posted ahead of time in this blog.  All that being said, I'll certainly be playing event #1, event #6 (the six handed max event), and the main event with KaiShare holders money, with another $355 event TBD.



Absolutely the wrong way to deal with the "burning building" problem

What happens if you win the main event?

Well what do you think happens, stupid?  You get paid 1% of that amount.  If the main event  victory is $200,000, and Kai wins it, then you get $2000.  Plus whatever I gross, if anything,  in the three smaller tourneys.

I live in Brazillian slum known as a "favela."  Sometimes father throws me out in the street to beg for spare change.  Can I buy KaiShare for cheaper?

No.  Hard work breeds character.  Maybe sell some pencils.  Don't be a hippie and beg.  Maybe learn ultimate fighting skills and get out of the ghetto.  Isn't that what you Brazilians do?  Or become trannys?  Look, I'm getting off track here...it's only a $35 investment and even you international people can pay through PayPal.  Just do a person to person transaction and there's no fee!

Oh, shit...did we just burn down Harrah's?

I've done the math on this and it looks like even if you dont cash, you'll still make $175 from your "1% backers."



Um, let's not, and you go home and occupy your bathtub, hippie.



Yep.  That's right.  Big profit.  Goodbye mortgage.  Goodbye overseas paternity lawsuit from Bangkok street walker.  Also, I can buy my way to the front of the line in the "liver recipient" list.  All the problems in my life solved.  Oh, wait, no...I'm also investing $1795 in myself for this series.  Looks like I better cash.

So, if I buy one KaiShare you would need to gross $3600 in wins for me to receive a profit, right?  But if you only gross, like, $1700 in wins I'd sitll get $17 back right?


Yes and yes.  All very simple math.  If I cash $10,000, you get $100.  If I cash $50,000, you get $500.  No makeup, no weird percentage splits, just simple 1% = 1% in these events.

What's the endgame for your hair?

That's my secret.

How can I pay you?  And why are you so awesome?

Let's just say I'm doing this for people who read my blog and want to gamble vicariously.  It's fun for everyone.  I'd like to make some readers and friends some money if I can.  If you want to play, it's $35.

Do you run good in New Orleans?

Yes.

Email me discreetly at KaiSeven@hotmail.com or at my facebook acct. before this Thursday to get in on the action.  :)   (This is also the address to send $$$ to via PayPal).

TAKE THAT, HIPPIE!  YOU SHOULDA BOUGHT A KaiShare!!!