WILL PLAY FOR POPEYE'S FRIED CHICKEN

FALSE MAYAN APOCALYPSE COUNTDOWN  48 SUNDAYS LEFT.  Sun Jan 15, 2012.

Details below.

CRYSTAL AND TIFFANY AREN'T JUST NAMES OF ENTERTAINERS AT RICK'S...

Well if this isn't just salt in the wound...

Flashback about one month ago.  I get the only bill in the mail maybe anyone could ever possibly look forward to receiving.  And tearing the envelope open with a big smile like it's Christmas morning.

"Dear <Mr. Landry>, it is with great excitement that we are pleased to announce ticket sales for the post season.  The NFL has directed us to go ahead and prepare to sell playoff tickets to our season ticket holders as soon as possible tickets for up to two postseason games..."

Boom Shaka Laka Laka!

Our boys in black and gold had done it again!  Record shattering amazing bastards!  Greatest Show on Turf's points?  Shattered.  Dan Marino's record?  Shattered.  Peyton Manning's record?  Shattered.  Drew Brees even shattered the completion percentage record formerly held by the great Drew Brees.  Upwards of fifteen long standing NFL records were obliterated by margins of up to 7-8% by this team.  Sproles.  Graham.  History books.

And then... the comedy of errors at Candlestick Park, against the long-hated 49ers, the double-decade dynasty of the former NFC West allignment.  It was kind of like the 1982 Aints had continuously made cameo appearances in the script...leaving me feeling violently nautious, and leaving a team with this much heart and talent, the most offensively potent team of all time, watching the playoffs from home  This was supposed to be the mental confidence bounceback game for the Louisiana/ Gulf Coast area after the LSU/Alabama EMBARASSMENT. 

What amazed me most about the Saints is how they didn't quit and made an amazing comeback, and damn near victory, all while numerous ridiculous turnovers... bad beat after bad beat...never once shook their confidence.  It was an absolutely amazing effort...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

...as opposed to the LSU Tigers' "performance," which damn near had me going on Ebay to sell my collegiate football fan allegiance to the highest bidder.  Twenty bucks to root for the New Mexico State Aggies for the rest of my life, and never have to root for these quitters again?  Tempting...

There's no dirtier word in sports than the Q-word, and I'll be damned if that's not what they did.  Congratulations, Alabama.  Congratulations, San Fransisco.   While the Saints game may have had me cursing and screaming like a drunken, inner-city Tourettes stricken sailor with an unbridled amounts of equal parts rage and insanity, coming damn near close to throwing my HDTV out the window with the last energy of a dying human body that had it's living, blood-pumping heart ripped out by Vernon Davis with 0:09 left on the clock, at least I can say that the Saints never gave up and fought like hell to win that game.

But as for LSU?  OOOhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, it's gonna take a long, long time for me to forgive you for this one.

We all saw every damn one of you on the bench halfway through the third quarter...not speaking to each other, heads down...dejected.  It was the "no mas" fight of college football.  It's really disrespectful to Alabama that they didn't even have to earn this one.

So much for getting some more crystal and Tiffany silver trophies down here, no matter how great your teams were this season.  The horrific South Louisiana gridiron apocylapse on 2012 is now behind us, but the sting throbs and festers really badly!

Cures sorrow.  Take as directed.

Once the Saints are out of the picture, the NFL has about as much excitement and luster to me as AA womens' basketball or sitting around listening to NPR and quilting all day. 

But the salt in the wound is that I got ridiculously "lucky" with the Saints this year in my request for additional playoff tickets.  All that simply had to happen this week is that the Saints take care of business and the Giants do the impossible and defeat Green Bay at Lambeau Field, and I would have had the rights to sell THIRTEEN NFC Championship tickets at the game that would have been held at the Superdome next week.  And as I just watched it unfold, shaking my head in disgust, New York took care of their part.  Thirteen golden tickets to an event that doesn't exist... 

MILLION DOLLAR HEATER AT THE BEAU RIVAGE.
First off, severe congratulations to my really, really good friend Scott....something.  I forget his last name.  Whatever.  But he's a tremendous competitor.  Tremendous enough to take down the opening event at the Beau last week with over 1,500 entrants.  Williams?  Yeah.  That's it.  Scott Williams.  I think he's this guy in this picture or something:

Forgot to stick out his pinkies...

Anyway, when asked about his strategy, Scott said, "I just cross my fingers and hope a lot."  Well said, Scott.  Truly inspirational.  Let's just "hope" Scott keeps winning so he can enlighten us with more nuggets of wisdom like this.

As for myself, I bubbled that same event last week, then bubbled yesterday's event, coming in 32d with 27 getting paid.  The only two events I've played.  This just hours after watching the Saints lose in the last seconds during dinner break.   Swish that around in your mouth for a while.  Tastes like "despondency" and "malaise" doesn't it?  MMMmmmm!   Despondency!   I can't complain though, as it's been a little while since I've played, and feel like I'm getting the "ring rust" off quikly in just these two openers, and I can definitely feel I am starting to get back into strong tournament form.

WILL WORK FOR POPEYES

Anyway as far as the main event goes for the Million Dollar Heater Main Event, if anyone is interested in staking me for the entire buy-in, I will work for no more than one three (3) piece white spicy Popeyes dinner with red beans and rice as the side, and a large Coke as the drink.  That means if I take down first place for an estimated $300,000 or so; it would be entirely yours for the contractual consideration of the spicy delicious Popeyes dinner described above.  All forms would be filled out accordingly.

I don't really feel like getting into 60/40 split, 70/30 split with makeup discussions...so let's just put this out on the table as simply as I can.  I will only accept a cash payout of ONE POPEYES THREE PIECE WHITE SPICY DINNER, WITH RED BEANS AND RICE AS THE SIDE AND A LARGE COKE AS THE DRINK.  All cash winnings would be yours and you alone also responsible for taxes.

I know what you're thinking...why would anyone go against the policy of, as the Joker said in The Dark Knight Rises, "If you're good at something, never do it for free."

Well simply put, I'm interested in attaining a working relationship with a backer from here on out.  Up to this point I've been the only one fronting myself with two exceptions in this years WSOP (one i won, the other I didn't).  And I'm really interested to see what I can do in a different set of circumstances.  Could you just "Buy a Piece?"  Maybe.  But you front the damn chicken, and you get a 100% payout.

Don't worry.  I have a great game plan to win.  Have Jordan Jefferson run the option or throw a screen on every play, then eventually just give up.

Just kidding.

Or I'll just satellite in and keep every damn penny for myself.  Let's see. 

But the 99.9997/ 0.00003 (no rake back) offer is on the table.

Yes, I am serious about the chicken.

JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY

If anyone is from the New Orleans metro area and old enough to remember the old LAS Siding commercials with Oscar the handy-man sitting on an old rickety bench and staring just off to the camera and looking pathetic (while the camera slowly zooms out) and the narrator says, "This is Oscar...Oscar is out of work and could install affordable siding on your home..."

I'm asking because I came across this LAS shirt on the internet but couldn't find an Oscar t-shirt anywhere...did I just imagine this character as a child or was this real?  Somebody help!

Kai-prah's Book of the Month Club:
Just finished "Bad Bet on the Bayou."  For any of you ever gambling at Harrah's in New Orleans, and amazed by how awful the dealers and service are, you'll be even more amazed story of the political nightmare and corruption that penetrated every level of government in Louisiana to get this casino built and gaming legalized in the state.  A few months back I highly recommended "Havanna Nocturne" to you, a book about Castro getting the mob and gambling OUTof Cuba during the revolution.  This book is about getting gambling and the mob INTO Louisiana by an equally slimy individual, Governor Edwin Edwards.  Prepare to be shocked by all the incomepence and corruption in 1990's Louisiana government.