Monday, October 8, 2012


Well, I've heard insanity, by definition, is if you fail at something the first time, to do it again and expect different results.  Or to put on a long blonde wig, wear a luxiorious mink coat, rob graves by day for food,  live in the sewers by night, and call yourself "Lord Malcom Puddingsworth."

Chicago has become something of an annual trip for me.  This will be the end of the trilogy if it doesn't come out special.  Made the trip two years ago and came out enough of a loser to put me in a grouchy mood for three days.  Last year, broke even despite being ahead $3k going into the main event, where I learned what the only feeling worse than busting out of the main event was.  Since the main event format changed into a "one rebuy" format, that educated me on what was worse than busting out once.  Which put me exactly even on that trip.  Grrrr.  So Chicago still owes me a little money over the past two years.  And I'm off to get it with interest.

The funny thing is over all I have NO desire to go to Chicago.  More accurately, Hammond, Indiana right across the border.  Whiiiiiiiich is right next to Gary, Indiana...where, as George Carlin would have said, the econimically disadvantaged live in substandard housing and have a negative income cash flow.  And they are very, very eager to kill you.  But it's not the Garyans and their murderous ways that get to me.

Chicago is just...not my kind of town.  Can't describe it.  The midwest is too...ordinary?  Milquetoast?  Polite?  Sterile?  It's filled with such an obscene amount of bland, polite conversation from the sub-Canadians that within two or three days, I'm YEARNING to get back to the dirty South.  Or to do something offensive to someone.  Anyone.

I have lots of obscure theories.  Chicago and New Orleans are both known for their corruption.  New Orleans politicians got away with it forever because of the lack of education and the populace desiring entertainment above results.  Chicago politicians got away with it because of the overall desire of midwesterners to please everyone in some socialistic utilitarian fashion and not speak to badly about awful people, even if they are in charge. 

It's an imperfect theory, and I'm working on it, but I'd prefer living down South.
It's definitely a clean city.  Unlike native New Orleans.  Maybe I just can't adapt.  I can even remember the homeless peorple in the Chicago area trying to scrap together a few bucks by selling at red lights...wait for it....wait for it...

Towels!!!  Still haven't connected the dots on that one.  Every red light around the suburbs.  Homeless people selling towels. 

If I don't come out ahead this trip...I may be scrapping for a piece of red light turf...

Anyway by nightfall Wednesday, Monkey, Claudia Crawford, and Barth Melius and I will be hunkered down, ready to rumble bright and early Thursday. 

So, check out this video.  Unless you're reading it at night.  In which case you'll be so motivated to get seriously fit, cure all major diseases, including polio, and become so financially independent you won't get to sleep tonight...

Okay.  So, long story short, they cured Polio.


Short story long, I'm training to run this event with a few hip movitated friends Matt Beard, Leigh Ann Hunter and Lilian Perez and a few others on November 10 in Perkinson, Mississippi. Our team name? The Ultra-Violent Bath Salt Zombies. A name just in time for Halloween!  Anyone else who is psychotic enough to run on our team with us is welcome to join.  This race is crazy.  So call me, maybe.

So I get to look forward to training hard on the shores of Lake Michigan for the next two weeks or so.  Long runs, sprints, pushups, burpees in the cold weather.  Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!!

That's probably what one might consider a healthy, successful lifestyle.  But I believe in balance in all areas of

I've decided, in the interest of balancing out this healthy, positive person I will be by day, to let loose with "Lord Puddingsworth" during my casino time.  I'm afraid I can't get into who or what exactly Lord Puddingsworth is.  Let's just say he is enough of a remarkably repugnant character to irritate the midwesterners into making financially criminal decisions at the poker table.  Decisions of there's I should profit nicely from.   I'll be stretching out the Halloween freak show all month.  We should have video of this entity by the weekend here or on Youtube.  Stay tuned.

Some of you, before I even announced my trip to Chicago texted me or PM'd me asking about staking me, which I always take as a nice gesture of confidence in me.  Or pure, unadulterated greed on your parts. 

Don't really care to too "sell myself" too much, but just in the interest on lowering my variance, and lessening my buy-ins, I'm doing it again for no markup.  That's the way Lord Puddingsworth rolls.

So I'll only play those events with backer money where I don't have to worry about overlapping days one and two of seperate events in this series

So I'll play six events --1, 2,4, 6, 7, and 10 (the main) --with some backers' money and mostly my own.   All other events will be exclusively mine.  Total buy-ins for those events is $3930 (365 + 580 + 365 + 580 + 365 + 1675).  So let's say an even $40 gets you an exact 1% of all my action in those six events.  And I won't sell more than 35% of myself in these events.

So....the math couldn't be more simple.  Whatever I get 1% of it...if you wish to own a piece of Lord Puddingsworth.  I never charge "markup."  I'm just kind of dumb like that.

Time to get ready for this venture to the Windy City!  Maybe I actually am looking forward to it!  Always great to get away...

Lastly, I want to give my roommate Rachel in the "back" of Chateau Landry my condolences for the loss of her father Rex, who, some of you may remember, was our dealer in the first annual World's Undisputed Poker World Champion of the World Championship back in July.  Rex managed to play while dealing to a really rambunctious bunch of individuals, and somehow, in all the hysteria and confusion, still managed to come in third.  That's a lot to think about at once, and he did an amazing job, having worked as a poker dealer for many years here in the Gulf Coast.  I know it's Rachel's first big loss in her life, and the most meaningful person in the world to her.  Hope she isn't upset I didn't attend her dad's services but I think she understands I'm "funeralled out" after the past couple of years.  Just couldn't take another service.  She's been through enough even before this and I'm proud of her how she keeps rolling with the punches somehow.  She's a tough kid, and what else can I say other than things will start getting better for her.  They will.  They always do. 

Look forward to talking to you guys soon!!!

Lord Puddingsworth

Today's blog was brought to you by Amazon. For the record, I have not read this book. But I hear all the guys are reading it. And if that's the case, I have no problem trying to make 13 cents from anyone clicking the above banner and purchasing the sequel to the bestseller. Actually, truth be told, it's a book for girls, so supposedly there's lots of recipes in there. So, click on the above banner, ladies, make me 13 cents, and learn a good smothered pork dish! Yum!

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